The Tray.

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
setheverman
arahir

god my neighbor just called me and she’s like… is this your chicken in our driveway… like who else has a chicken in this neighborhood yes it’s my chicken… so i get over there and kylo hen is chilling in their driveway eating some specs and stuff and there’s this actual crowd of people around her and i’m like… hi sorry mb let me get her… and oh my god… they’re like do you need us to call someone?? should we get help?? how should we do this?? do you need a net? like bitch it’s a chicken not a fucking komodo dragon. so i just… i was kind of joking around so i crouched down and patted my thighs and all the chickens are trained to come to me on sight because me = food… so i got down there and went “here girl!! come here!!” and the chicken comes running over and this group of actual adult ass individuals were staring at me like i was the fucking pied piper… and i didn’t know what to say…. so i just kind of walked back to my yard with the chicken following me and none of them moved or said a damn word and i think i literally just convinced them this chicken is trained like a dog…

syrup-bender

your chicken’s name is kylo hen

perks-of-being-chinese
theghostboy

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

  • “happy birthday” every time i hand them something
  • “well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
  • “we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
  • “can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
  • referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
  • “time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages
  • referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”
  • “what are they gonna do, fire me?”
dwarvesandrobots

I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”

theghostboy

this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far

FAVE
perks-of-being-chinese
themoviewhisperer: “I feel like ‘Coco’ isn’t getting as much hype as it deserves, partially because of lackluster promo from Disney. If you didn’t know it’s getting INCREDIBLE reviews with most calling it the best Pixar movie since Monsters Inc and...
themoviewhisperer

I feel like ‘Coco’ isn’t getting as much hype as it deserves, partially because of lackluster promo from Disney. If you didn’t know it’s getting INCREDIBLE reviews with most calling it the best Pixar movie since Monsters Inc and Finding Nemo. It’s already the highest grossing movie of all time in Mexico. I wanna see it do well in the rest of the world too, particularly the US where anti-Mexican sentiment has been all over the place this year. Please go see this movie this weekend. Thank you!

trust
doaasadek

I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

brownmuva

I NEEDED THIS SO BADLY

totallyboardaf

This. This everyday. I need this everyday.